New York Sweaty

Greetings all. Got a bit of a heatwave going on in the Big Apple here. Which I think serves as the perfect opportunity for me to answer the big question people seem have about me. And no, it's not my world famous risotto recipe which I'll talk about at another time. It's, obviously: why do I go around naked? I think the current molten temperatures say all there is to say about that. see, when I'm training, I can't just shove a bunch of ice cubes down my shorts to cool off and not expect it to affect my speed. Not to mention the fact that when it melts it's going to look like I peed my pants, which is not cool. Not to mention the fact that I don't even wear them because wearing pants goes against everything I stand for. but that's besides the point. And as far as me just taking off until the weather gets a little less surface of the sun—like? That's just not an option. You don't stay the world's fastest anything by getting out of the kitchen the minute things get too hot. I mean, sure, I like sitting on my couch watching t.v. with the air conditioner blasting as much as the next guy. But I'll tell you what i like more, and it rhymes with "shmame and smortune." And "shwomen." I'll let you in on a little secret. This is how i beat the heat when things get really sizzling out there, because, sometimes, even getting completely naked doesn't do the trick. 1.) I get a buzz cut. On my stuff. That's a comfort thing and an general maintenance thing I like to do. Highly recommended. 2.) hot peppers. If you've ever wondered how people in equatorial cultures live without fans and ice cream and pools, there's our answer. I eat a bunch of hot peppers, I start sweating, and even though I feel like I'm going to crap fire because my stomach is full of white hot charcoal briquettes, my body temperature falls a couple degrees closer to normal. That and my skin somehow wicks moisture like a duck. Keep cool, people.