Commander In Cheeks? No Thanks!

So New York's "Naked Cowboy" wants to run for mayor of the city. And naturally, everyone's asking me, 'Donnie, Donnie, what do YOU think?' Do they ask because of my political leanings? Or my astute understanding of what people want in a leader? Of course not. They want to know what the OTHER naked dude has to say on the topic. Well, that's just offensive. I mean, he's not even really a nudist. Look at him. He wears little superhero underpants and a hat and boots. I may keep my shoes and socks on when I train, but at least you can see my junk. And my butt cheeks. The "naked" cowboy isn't letting anyone see his butt cheeks. That's false advertisement right there. His whole identity is a SHAM!! And he thinks he can be MAYOR!!? This candidacy is built on lies and fabrication. And I for one will not support such malarkey. On a side note, keep your eyes peeled for my long awaited bio-mentary: The World's Fastest Nudist—Naked Ambition. Coming soon! —WFN